Wisdom, Aging, and Personal Growth

By Nick Jacobs

I listened recently to a podcast featuring Seth Godin, an American author and entrepreneur who has founded several companies. He is best known for his innovative marketing ideas. During the podcast, he posed a profound question: “If I could whisper something in the ear of my younger self, what would I say?”

As a parent and grandparent, I can relate to this introspective moment. How many times have I wondered what wisdom I could pass on to the next generations to make their lives just a little easier, more comfortable, less stressful, and ultimately happier? The challenge, of course, is that advice to children and grandchildren often flows freely in one ear and out the other.

In countries like Japan and China, aging is viewed through a lens of respect and reverence. Traditions like “Respect for the Aged Day” celebrate elders, linking aging with wisdom and maturity. Confucian philosophy emphasizes respect and care for older generations as a moral imperative. Laws even mandate that adult children provide both material and emotional support, reflecting deeply rooted cultural values.

Native American communities offer another powerful example of elder respect. Elders are held as crucial keepers of culture, wisdom, and spirituality. They often occupy leadership positions, serving as teachers who preserve tribal traditions and guide younger generations. The community takes collective responsibility for their well-being and continued importance.

In stark contrast, the United States demonstrates a different approach to aging. We have developed a culture that seems more committed to “warehousing” our elderly than honoring them. Ageism runs rampant, with older adults frequently portrayed as frail, unproductive, and burdensome. Media and societal emphasis on youth and individualism amplify these stereotypes.

Interestingly, Neil deGrasse Tyson offers a compelling scientific perspective on why humans, particularly women, often live decades beyond traditional “productive” years. He suggests this longevity provides significant societal and evolutionary advantages through elder wisdom and caregiving.

Humpback whale calves nurse for about 5 months. Dolphins stay with their mothers for 4-8 years, learning survival skills and social behavior. Polar bear cubs stay with their mothers for about 2.5 years, during which they learn essential survival skills. Humans, by comparison, require an extraordinarily extended period to raise their young.

 In essence, grandparents serve a crucial role in carrying forward necessary wisdom that assists in societal advancement and growth.

Returning to Godin’s original question “What would I tell my younger self?”  His advice diverges significantly from traditional wisdom. Instead of offering specific instructions, he would tell his younger self, “All of my failures have led to where I am today.” He continued: “You may experience failure, but everything is going to be okay. Failure is what you must live through to get to a better you, a better outcome, and a better result.” In other words, Godin is saying to live your life, make mistakes, and embrace your failures.

Godin advocates for having the confidence to recognize when something isn’t working—whether it’s an educational path, career, or life choice. His philosophy is straightforward: if you don’t acknowledge when something isn’t right, you’re settling for mediocrity. You need to have the confidence to say, “This is not for you.’’  You need to know “I’m here because I signed up for this.” “I’m here because I want to be.” 

The message is clear: listen to your elders but also listen to yourself. Be comfortable making mistakes, learning from them, and most importantly, having the courage to change course when necessary.

As Godin suggests, true growth comes from understanding that being part of an organization or a life path should be a conscious choice not because you feel trapped or obligated.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to shape your journey, embrace your experiences—both successful and challenging—and continue growing.

Nick Jacobs is a partner with SMR, LLC and founder of the Academy of Integrative Health and Medicine, former board member of the American Board of Integrative Holistic Medicine, Jacobs maintains a website, Healinghospitals.com.